home > Pastor’s Desk > 2023 > December 8th > What a Friend We Have

Do you like meeting new people and forming new friendships? Some people do. Some don’t. Those that do are usually the ones you see in a social setting (such as a party) who, if they see someone on their own, they feel they should be the one to go over to that person and have a conversation with them. Such people are naturally friendly and seem to make friends quite easily. They find starting conversations with others easier than most and seem to somehow have the knack of making people feel at ease. But these people are rare. In fact, good friends are hard to find these days. However, they may now become less rare if everyone who is unfriendly or friendless reads this short article and discovers how to become a good or even better friend.    

A man who has friends must [first] himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 NKJV

THE QUALITIES OF A FRIEND

Friends come in different shapes, sizes, ages, and either sex. A friend is someone who knows you and perhaps despite what they know about you they still like you. A friend invests their time, talent, interests, efforts, in getting to know you and along the way they are prepared to help you where they can. They know where you live. They know the date of your birthday. They know where you grew up. They know what book you’re reading at the moment. They know what makes you happy or upset. They share your heartaches and celebrate your triumphs. Importantly, some friends are for seasons that don’t last. Perhaps with this in mind the Sage wrote that family members rather than friends is where we seek and find lasting support:

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17

But because families are often scattered beyond their hometown these days, the wisdom of the Sage found in Proverbs 27:10 should also be appreciated.

 

THE ACTS OF A FRIEND 

Friends have limits. Despite the infinite number of internet memes that declare a true friend will always be there for you the reality is they can’t and probably shouldn’t be. Sure, they may be able to be with you in an emergency moment of crisis, but often times even those moments will be restricted by time, distance, and convenience. Your friends have jobs, families, and appointments to keep that may make it impracticable if not impossible for them to “always be there for you”. More reasonably, a good friend will usually make time to spend time with you. Over time they will have got to know you. This proper use of together-time builds trust and allows trust to grow. This kind of friendship trust enables you to hear hard truths from them about your traits that others might find unacceptable. A friend tells the truth to their friend. A friend can look you in the eye and tell you what you need to hear even though you don’t want to hear it. A friend can open a curtain to parts of your soul that you have not made visible to others. Yet too few people ever experience this kind of deep friendship.

He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.
Proverbs 22:11

FINDING A GOOD TRUE FRIEND

The average person who lives in a community (unless they are one who lives on a desert island, or deserted island, or by themselves on a dessert island 🙂 ) will generally have up to sixty to seventy-or-so acquaintances. These are people they would wave to and probably have some idea about their name. The average person in that community would also probably have just a handful of people who would be their friends. And statistically maybe just one of those friends would be a close friend. However, it seems to be a modern phenomena that a growing number of people across all ages are experiencing loneliness from having no friend. So I have a few suggestions to solve this friendless (deadly) crisis.

¶ Know your sheep by name; carefully attend to your flocks;
Proverbs 27:23

 

FRIENDLY AS THE STEP TOWARD FRIENDSHIP

If you would have a friend, first show yourself to be friendly. Talk with people. Listen to people. Remember people’s names (when someone introduces themself to you, repeat their name back to them in your response. “Hi, my name is Slabodan.” “Hi Slabodan. Nice to meet you. My name is Annabel-Natasha.”). The next time you meet them, ask them a follow-up question based on your previous meeting. (“How did you go with that job interview?”) Show interest in them with questions. Share your interests. If you haven’t got any — get some! Be interesting! (‘Interesting people have lots of interests.’) In fact, common interests is often a magnet that attracts people  into a friendship. Note how interesting these young men, Daniel and his three friends, must have been based on Daniel 1:4 – (i) well groomed and well dressed; (ii) highly educated; (iii) hungry to learn; (iv) dignified and polite; and (v) fluent in foreign languages and cultures.

    1. Talk with people you don’t know.
    2. Listen to the stories of people you’re getting to know.
    3. Remember people’s names.
    4. Follow up on information you gained about someone the next time you meet.
    5. Explore what interests a person has.
    6. Share your interests with the person you have just met – make yourself interesting.
    7. Get out your comfort zone every now and again and try something for the first time.  When was the last time you tried something for the first time?

The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is justified by her deeds.
Matthew 11:19

 

YOU HAVE A FRIEND REQUEST

The message of the Gospel is really good news for anyone craving a true friend. The Gospel presents Jesus as the True Friend who “sticks closer than a brother”.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24

I’m a very shy person. As anyone who was at my last birthday party could testify, I am not a party-animal. Yet when I read the Gospels though I meet a Jesus who loved to be around ordinary people. He loved parties. If the producers of the Chosen are correct, Jesus loved to eat, drink and dance at parties with His friends.  

And while Jesus was GOD-in-the-flesh; the Lord of Heaven and Earth;, He told His disciples that above all, He was their friend.

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.
John 15:15

Jesus is now coronated as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, yet He wants to be your friend. You may feel like you are a nobody. (You and me both.) While we maybe no-bodies, we can know Somebody who knows everybody who calls us His friend – if we have accepted His Friend Request. Will you? 

Your Pastor,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk.

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COMMISSIONED FOR A PURPOSE

Think about your life for a second. How important are you daily activities? What if I told you that God’s grand plan for the world isn’t just about some extraordinary few, but includes you, right where you are in the tediousness of every day life? You may have heard this sort of thing from an animated and passionate preacher: That the same God who set the stars in place has a purpose for your life that echoes into eternity… sure, that’ll preach, but what if it were actually true?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HONOUR SOMEONE’S LIFE’S WORK?

This is the question that’s been on my mind since I stepped into the role of Senior Pastor here at Legana Christian Church. I think we all know what it looks like to deface someone’s life’s work! Back in 2022, there were 38 “Art Attacks” staged by groups like Extinction Rebellion. They went into museums and threw food, paint, and sometimes even glued themselves to significant works of art. In the midst of it all, I’ll be honest, I wasn’t thinking about how I should save the world. Rather, I couldn’t help but think: What had the artist done to deserve such disrespect? What did vandalising art have to do with fossil fuels, cutting down rainforests or large-scale mining? Maybe I missed the point, but this seemed more like childish, attention-grabbing tantrums than meaningful protests.

Looking Forward in Faith and Finishing Well

Have you ever had one of those moments when you just know something significant is about to happen? That feeling where everything in your life has been preparing you for this moment? That sense that, through all the trials and struggles, God has been at work preparing you for ‘such a time as this’? That’s exactly how Bec and I feel as we step into this new season here at Legana Christian Church. From the moment we—Bec, the kids (Nissi, Otto, Mila and Bijou) and I—arrived, I’ve felt so welcomed by the congregation’s warmth and encouragement. The last few years have been a whirlwind for us, but already we feel like part of the family. So, before I say anything else, I’d like to say thank you to the congregation for embracing us wholeheartedly. It really means the world to our family.

WHEN JESUS SPOKE, PEOPLE DID MORE THAN LISTEN

William L. Thompson was born in Ohio in 1847. He studied music as a young and was talented enough to be invited to study music in Germany. After some time in Germany, he returned to America and became a popular song-writer for famous performing artists. But Thompson also began to experience rejections from music publishers. During this difficult phase of his life he turned to Christ. He had begun reading through the Gospels with fresh zeal and discovered that the Jesus described in those Gospels was deeply caring, very tender especially with women and children and anyone who truly turned to Him. Even though he had started his own music publishing company and also a music store in Ohio, his focus and priorities had now changed.
In the 1870s there were many people in the America and the United Kingdom who were coming to Christ under the evangelistic ministry of Dwight L. Moody. Thompson was certainly aware of the great evangelist. He had moved from writing popular songs to writing hymns. He wrote a hymn that he felt was appropriate for the type of evangelistic meetings that Mr. Moody was conducted. He called it, an invitation hymn. It was designed to come after the sermon and led to what had become referred to as ‘the altar call’ where people were invited to receive Christ and become a Christian. The invitation hymn was called, Softly and Tenderly. When D.L. Moody first heard it he insisted that they begin using it in their revival meetings. In fact, it almost became known  as D.L. Moody song! As the aged Mr. Moody was confined to what would be his death-bed, he called for Mr. Thompson and told him: 

DUMB PRAYERS THAT I HAVE PRAYED AND GOD HAS ANSWERED OVER THE YEARS

Over the past nearly 29-years of pastoring Legana I have occasionally mentioned that one day I would write about “the dumb prayers that I’ve prayed.” It’s not really that they are all ‘dumb’ prayers, it’s that they are the kind of prayers that are guaranteed to be answered by God (because they are “surrendered” prayers) but have not been fully considered what God’s answer might entail. I do not consider the more well-known and obvious “dumb” prayers – such as praying for revival to bring in hundreds of lost/lonely/broken souls into the kingdom and then being surprised by God’s answer resulting in exhaustion, burn-out, over-stretched resources, spiritual attacks, and the inevitable pride. Neither do I consider the even more obvious “dumb” prayer for patience and humility and the resultant means (difficult people and obvious trials!) by which such a prayer can only be answered. Instead, I begin with a prayer I prayed as a teenager then others that I prayed down through the years which have led me to this unexpected point. What I hope, and pray, you might discover after you have read this is something which will might benefit you in your knowledge of God and how He often answers prayers.

COMPEL THEM TO COME HOME

Who is welcomed into your home especially if they are unexpected, unannounced and unknown? As Jesus travelled around Israel He often told a story which His disciples would have repeatedly heard. It was the story of a nobleman who was hosting a great banquet in his large home and had invited other nobles to be his guests. But one after another each made a weak excuse for not attending. The nobleman then told his servant to go and invite the outcasts to be his guests instead.

TRUST GOD, THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO

The Bible is the all-time best-selling book for good reason. It is a book like no other. If you have a problem, the answer is in there -if not directly, it shows where the answer is found: God. He is the most powerful being in the world. He is able to split the sea (Ex 14:22), make hungry lions oblivious to the ‘righteous food’ in front of them (Dan 6:22), stop a storm mid-track (Luke 8:24), win un-winnable battles (such as 1Kings 20:26-30), overfill previous bare fishing nets (Luke 5:5-6), permit pregnancy in (very) old age (Gen 21:2) or even without a man (Luke 1:34-35), and, heal the sick and make demons flee (Matt 4:24). These were all answers to difficult problems. Each is a remarkable and exciting story in itself, but the repetition of such extraordinary and powerful works shows it was never just a fluke or a mere coincidence. He is a powerful God-able to make the impossible possible.

WHAT DO YOU?

home > Pastor's Desk > 2024 > August 9th > What Do YouWhat do you want? What do you want to do? What do you hope to achieve? What do you long to buy? What do you wish for your community? What do you need to change? What do you aspire to learn? What do you...

Was Jesus Even A Christian

AS my pastoral ministry at Legana rapidly draws to an end it is my hope that I leave a deposit in your soul that encourages you to also Love God with all your mind as well. It is my contention that with the increasing screen addiction to social media — where viewing “memes” and watching “celebrity YouTubers” — is being confused for factual information with even believers susceptible to deception. I want to offer some ways to guard what might be being allowed into your heart.

HOW DID THEY UPSET MALACHI SO MUCH?

Over the past twenty-nine years of pastoring Legana, I have generally preached through biblical books verse-by-verse. These biblical books series have been interspersed with various shorter topical series (which is why it took me eight years to preach all the way through the Book of Jeremiah). As I now commence my last biblical book teaching series, through Malachi, I hope to leave a deposit in your souls about the value and authority of God’s Word and how we need to worshipfully approach it. While we all want to “cut to the chase” and “get to the point” when we approach God’s Word we must do so carefully. This takes time. “Time” is what most people complain they do not have. This is why I am doing so much background work on this often-neglected book so that you can take advantage of my time investment on your behalf. In this series so far, I have introduced the context of this book, discussed who Malachi was, explored where Malachi was, and examined who was Malachi’s immediate audience. I am now considering why Malachi was so profoundly upset and what we can learn from his passionate love for God and His Table.