A WORD TO HUSBANDS

First Peter 3:7

Much attention is usually drawn to the Bible’s statement to women that they should submit to their husbands. In proportion, much less attention is given to the instructions directed towards husbands. So foundational to society, and even life itself, marriage is presented as the only standard for a life-long relationship between a man and a woman. When a marriage is out of God’s order, there is always strife. Although marriage is a two-way commitment, it is the husband who bears the greater responsibility for the flavour of the marriage. God’s Word says that he needs to treat his wife in a certain way. If he fails to do this, it will affect even his relationship with God.

Having just instructed wives to be submissive to their husbands (even undeserving ones), Peter now instructs husbands to firstly treat their wives in a certain way.

1. How does he say that husbands should treat their wives? (vs 7)

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The Greek literally reads that husbands are to dwell with their wives with knowledge. This means that husbands must get to know to their wives. They must know them in the sense that they understand them, and use that knowledge to be considerate of them. It goes beyond merely knowing things about your wife, although its starts with this, and embraces the notion of knowing how your wife would be feeling. It is often said that men are moved by logic, and women are moved by emotions.

2. A wife can be one of two things to a husband according to Proverbs 12:4. What are they?

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3. How does Colossians 3:19 command husbands to treat their wives?

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HONOUR & RESPECT

Men are created with a greater ability to withstand stress and pressure. We assume this from the fact that God ordained the man to be the head of the house (Eph. 5:23). Husbands should not expect their wives to carry burdens that God has ordained their husband to carry. We note that God commanded Adam to work the earth to support his wife (Gen. 3:17-19). Eve presumably helped. But the responsibility was directed to Adam. Grace allows us to recognise that there are situations where this is impractical. But where it is not impractical, the husband is to wear the responsibility for providing for his family.

4. Refer to Ephesians 5:25-29 and note the implications of what responsibilities a husband has toward his wife-

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Husbands are to regard their wives as the weaker partner. This is in the sense of being physically weaker than the husband- not intellectually, or in value. Husbands need to honour their wives with encouragement for all that they do. This honouring should be contagious among the children of the couple. Children should be taught by instruction and observation that their mother is to be respected and highly regarded. When she says "jump", the children should honour her instruction. Wise husbands know how to reinforce this to their children. If the children observe that the husband does not honour and respect his wife, then neither will they.

5. How do children who have been taught to respect their mothers, treat them? (Prov. 31:28)

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A Christian marriage can be the closest thing to heaven that a person can experience. When both partners have God as their focus, they enjoy Him and each other. Husbands must make every effort to deliberately enjoy the company of their wife. Even many preachers and evangelists have forgotten to give their wives proper attention and suffered in their ministry because of it.

6. What reason does 1Peter 3:7 give for the prayers of husbands being hindered?

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It is the husband’s responsibility to set the spiritual pace of his marriage. He should initiate times of prayer with the wives and families. The spiritual aspect of a marriage should be paramount.

7. So important is the spiritual aspect to a marriage relationship, that 1Corinthians 7:5 instructs a couple to occasionally do what?

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Amen.